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| Lately, there has been plenty of ups, and way too many downs in my life. Talk about a roller-coaster ride I would hate to get on, especially because I'm deathly afraid of them to begin with! Well, everything totally collapsed on me, but I somehow managed to call the right people, get the right advice, and pull myself through. I felt like I owed the man upstairs a special thanks, so I joined Ashley, Jennifer, and Angel to church today. I went to Family Faith Church, a non-denominational church. Guess who I saw there? That's right, I saw EJ (: Man, that boy is so cute. Anyway, long story short, I felt uplifted somehow. I sang long, clapped along, even cried a bit, but I'm enjoying today. I think this was a step closer to finding my faith, so it took me a little over two years to regain my faith (during lent of 2009) and about six months after, I made yet another breakthrough. I'm making progress, I'm proud of myself. Annie said she was proud of me today, something I felt like I needed to hear from family. I love her so much, although I found out she got a 360 already, which was supposed to be her birthday present (ugh). Now I don't know what to get her. UGH! LOL :] I've been listening to a lot of different music lately, broadening my variety, which is amazing! A lot of country and worship (been listening to this before I left to Huntsville, actually) and Pandora has become my new friend (: Christmas is around the corner! I'm so excited. I feel like I go home too much :/ Speaking of which, BRIAN COMES HOME IN TWO WEEKS! Eh, my grandma is coming from Vietnam this weekend, and I'm going to Washington D.C. for Spring Break. It's going to be a long week ... KATE VOEGELE TOMORROW! Austin, here I come! EJ has become an official music inspiration for me, next to Kate Voegele, that is (: He's been working with me a lot lately! Speaking of work, I'M AN OFFICIAL VOLUNTEER AT THE HUNTSVILLE ANIMAL SHELTER (: I need a job ... (: That's it for now!
[cDo]
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| There have been many occasions and accounts of what I am legally able to do, and what I am not. For one, I cannot drink, because I am not 21. I cannot smoke, because I'm not 18. But I'm in college, surrounded by nonsense and insanity; well ... I guess why not give it a try? While we're at it, let's give my body away to some random boy? I'm tired of being accused of stupid things, I'm tired of being called out on things I'm not, I'm sick of carrying people who are far beyond my size up and down stairs when they're drunk. One of these nights, I will lose it, you will then turn on the news and see that some "Crazy Little Angry Asian" (As Mr. Webb would Say) attempting to jump off a bridge. Believe me, if I were going to kill myself in any way or fashion of jumping, I better be flying off the damn Eifel Tower. I seriously thought Sam Houston was the place for me, and it is, maybe it's just me attempting to adjust to such a strange life away from my friends and family.
There are certain things I've learned about myself since I've been stuck here in Huntsville, TX. For one, I have grown to love hot showers that leave mirrors fogged up. They do relieve somewhat of my stress, and since I've been sick for the past month, it opens my air flow for a bit so I can breathe like a normal human. I eat, a hell of a lot. Not like I didn't know that before, but I eat a lot. It doesn't help that I've been able to have a buffet in the cafeteria; but within the first month of being in college, I lost 6 lbs. Let's hope I don't gain them back. My love for sports have grown, but to participate in them have died. I've been on quite a lot of things now, and the coaches are always so run up about it if we lost (we've lost every game). It's about fun, it's for fun, we get nothing if we win, pure fun and exercise. My old TV shows are left in the dust, I struggle to keep up with Heroes or One Tree Hill, luckily I have Philip to help me through all of the HEROES! I have become slightly more social. I dedicated myself to studying. When I get mad, I get a lot more ghetto than I ever expected. If I feel lonely, I find myself walking around campus until 3 or 4 in the morning, just thinking. I hate the rain, so much. My physical appearance has upped its status a bit. I take what people say into personal terms now. I guess college is a self discovery. It kind of hurts to know that I am not in the same position as I used to be.
As far as friends go? I'm saying goodbye to those who don't, or refuse, to understand my life. This past summer wasn't the best summer I've had, but my 17th birthday is something I will forever remember. I forget I am 17, I have to think about it when people ask me. When I'm in college, they'll call, leave comments, or text me how much they miss me. How we should hangout, and a spur of the moment in me comes up telling me, "Go back to Dallas, they love you, they want to see you." I'm so big on friends, I love my friends. As soon as I get up there, they cancel plans with me, and blow me off. And then, you have the nerve to call me for a ride. WOW. I'm not talking about my Ohana Friends, those friends I address are the kids who really took me for granted as we grew up. As far as my awesome Ohana goes, I miss you all so much. It hurts to see that we're all busy, and we understand that each of us have different lives and whatnot, but at the same time, somehow, our bond is still there. Because you read this, Bryan, Truc, and Vickie; you guys keep me completely sane. I miss you all so much ): See, people like y'all, I wouldn't mind staying up until 3AM with; others, are just annoyances and I want them to disappear.
School for me could be so much better. I guess next week is my time to start working harder and harder, my grades are not something I can accept. Maybe if I were in high school, but I'm on the brink of being kicked out of the BLC for Academic Probation. I'm also juggling between Psychology or Music Therapy. For next year, whether I should live in a dorm or an apartment with my cousin. Distractions are gone, all that's left between me and the finish line of the semester for that GPA of over 2.0 (which shouldn't be too hard) is time. I miss my guitar and piano. I haven't played in a while, music hasn't been facing me lately and I hate that I don't have my iPhone anymore ... there goes my music. Now I listen to nature and people chattering as they zoom past me across campus from class to class. I feel bad, Ally just sits in the corner by my bed and collects dust. I don't have the time (or need) to play my guitar, I guess being in college does make a girl busy. Speaking of which, I told myself I would attempt to finish up my to-do list during break time today, that was an update from me for a while. Homecoming Parade is tonight, I'm excited and nervous. We have to be spirit-ful ... which I seriously lack. I get to stand on top of a trailer and throw candy at people, let's hope I don't fall <3 ;]
[cDo]
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| Gosh, drama already? Yes, I can say that I put all of this upon myself, and I'm taking responsibility for it all. More details about the main drama on my other website, I'm sure only Vickie/Sherri/Lucy knows that site. Anyway, college life. It's good, for the most part. I've got friends, and I'm still talking to the people who matter to me most in Dallas; and all around the place for that matter. I've been traveling a lot lately, it's kind of crazy. The highway has become a second home to me, which is weird because I am terrified of driving (especially during rush hour). People can be mean and there are some TERRIBLE drivers out there, but not ranting about traffic because I'm sure we all know/ hate it as much as the next person does!
School!
Well, it's a lot different than high school, but in most ways it's way easier! Actually, I think it's easier because in class we just discuss, talk about, and take notes about the broad topic. All the tests have to do with the material in the book, and the lectures reinforce what the tests say ... and honestly I haven't been keeping up with reading. I'm three weeks behind, my tests are this upcoming week (oh no!) and I'm in Houston preparing myself for mourning, and catching up on things I need to study for. But it's a lot less stressful than I imagined it would be, of most of my friends, I'm taking the most hours. 16 hours seems like a lot, but it's not? I know my other friends are only in 12-15. I don't know, Labs start on Wednesday, I'm excited but at the same time I'm nervous. Labs and Cathy never mix together well ... I'll be e-mailing my teachers like, off the wall. My math teacher is lame, his "Rate-my-Professor" apparently is terrible (so the classmates say) and he hasn't taught us much of anything. We've been asking questions and he kind of trails off, but I'm self-teaching myself and my math tutor is available quite often. It reassures me, math is my WORST subject. Music class is a breeze! I'm learning about staff and rhythms, I think the hardest thing for me in the class is how to play the recorder! But ... that's my biggest challenge ... really? :] Geography ... I always fall asleep in there, or I nod off. I'm afraid of failing because Annie says he never gives 100's! Although, I feel confident in my reading because it's really actually interesting to me, which is strange! English, we've had class in the actual classroom maybe TWICE. The teacher is really chill, once again, Annie says she's cool but hard ... but she seems alright to me. Just really boring, Lisa and me always nod off in there. Finally, Psychology! My most interesting subject class, and I'm dying because our teacher (who is young and according to the boys, "hot") can't answer any of our questions. "How do anti-depressants work?" and her reply would be "I'm not sure, I'll get back to you on that." Figures, whatever! She's cool though, super nice, but I wish I had an actual Professor, she's still working on her Masters. So far, I've had two classes cancelled and the extra time was freaking bliss!
Dorm Life!
Well, honestly it's a lot better than I imagined it would be. My roommate, Olivia, is freaking awesome! I feel bad because she has a lot of things, like she buys food/silverware for the room and I use it, I feel like I'm not contributing enough. She's a bit of a germaphobe, which doesn't bother me much at all but sometimes it drives me up the wall. But overall, we get along, we talk everynight, and she's AWESOME! As for our suitemates, Ashley and Angel are amazing too (: Angel is like me, and Ashley like Olivia. Our rooms are super cold now, but I've been told in the winter it's SO HOT! Our dorm (Vick) finally came around to bonding either out in the lobby or at the picnic bench outside of MY window at night. It's bothersome, but I'm happy we're finally all talking (: We had a "Secret Life" Finale party last Monday, and this upcoming one, One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl Party ! :] We're so weird! It's all the girls, plus James! I love my hall, there's only like 3 rooms plus the laundry so 6 of us total. Our hallmates are Alyssa and Tiffany, couldn't have asked for better life! The only problems we have are the damn crickets coming in and out of the dorm! Winter is coming soon, so they'll die off (:
Health?
The threat of Swine Flu is actually strong, we're getting e-mail notifications and signs posted up everywhere about washing hands and stuff. My English & Geography teachers especially, and specifically told us, "If you're sick, don't come to my class. I don't need an excuse, just don't come!" Hilarious! Anyway, sadly, I am sick and I do sound like a man when I wake up in the morning (: My roommate/suitemates aren't sick, but Alyssa and her boyfriend are! It's funny actually. I guess it doesn't help that I've been out in the rain a lot without an umbrella or anything, bad! But I'll recover soon, hopefully. I'm sore, why? I'm on the softball team! :] It's been treating me well, even though we lost both games last week. We never had any practice before the game and we were all just learning how to play! I say we did alright, our BLC support cheering system is amazing, and I love them! I'm glad I'm in the BLC! :] Speaking of which, study sessions start next week! Aside from being sick, I've lost 4 lbs. In a way, that's good and in a way, that's bad. I guess it's with all the walking I've been doing, but it doesn't feel like I walk much at all. Softball team, I suspect has to do something with this. And I'm starting rock-climbing soon (: Running the track in the Rec-center is good for me too! ;] Although, my eating habits are WHACK and I need to do something about it. I eat like twice a day, sometimes late late at night before I go to bed. I don't eat breakfast, and they serve the same thigns in the cafeteria like everyday! So! Here comes the part where I go grocery shopping, lots of fruits. I'm thinking about how to get my vegetables, I'm getting cereal ... and making sandwiches for lunches on MWF! Wednesdays are my busiest days.
For now, I'm done (: I think this blog has been long enough! Well, except for this. I've been going out of town every weekend so far because of certain things. Last weekend I was in Dallas, family drama. This weekend I'm in Houston to avoid Bearkat Family Weekend at SHSU, and grandma's about to pass, sometime this week. So here we go. Next weekend I'll most likely be down in Houston (again) but with my dad this time, for Grandma's funeral. The weekend afterwards I'm going back to Dallas to see Jay, TRUC AND BRYAN AND HEIDI, and for Allen's 2 Year(most important task). Brian's also coming back from his Army Duties that night! Oh did I forget to mention, Chris' mom bought us tickets to see Jason Mraz next Wednesday in the Woodlands. AWESOME! So until my next blog, hope you're all doing well (: And if you haven't checked it out, Allen's video is on YouTube!
[cDo]
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| But I hate that song! So, here's the update for you guys :)
MWF- Math, Music, and Geography! 9AM - 1PM :]
Living the SWEET life, no joke. My roommate is absolutely amazing, I feel like I don't do enough though. Vick House is pretty chill, but I love being over at Randel! I've made plenty of friends, remembering names is super hard; but I've managed so far. Suitemates are super fun, and so are the girls across the hall. My dorm life, is splendid. Although, my eating schedule is wack. I don't eat as much as I used to, I'm busy studying (yes, already) and going out with friends.
TuThu - English, Psychology 9:30 - 11 AM and 2 - 4 PM
I love all my classes, although math is hurting me a little. I tried studying with Chris last night, didn't workout too well. I can tell my Tues. & Thurs. classes are going to be fantastic. Psychology will be the best class, it's my biggest. A full lecture hall, maybe ... so about 50 or so of us. Not a lot, at all.
I'm excited to be coming home for Labor Day, I'm hoping I'll be fine in all my classes. No this isn't the update that is long and rigorous to read/type because I've got homework ): I miss you all dearly, and I think I have a boyfriend?
See y'all in Two Weeks,
[cDo]
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